Ask any homeschooling family about parent-child conflict and you’ll start to hear stories about how challenging it can be teach your own kids. The primary culprit? Figuring out how to match your teaching style to your child’s learning style.
When I first began to homeschool my oldest child, she learned so easily it was like magic! Turns out, she has the exact same learning style as I do! We are both a mix of reading/writing and visual learners. So, she processed information in the same way that I do. We read lots of books, made charts, and spent time writing. We were on the same wavelength, which made teaching and learning easy for both of us. The ways that I naturally taught, she naturally learned. It was like we were a perfect match.
Then, my son began school.
Oh, my. It was like I was speaking to him in a totally different language. All the ways I had taught his sister didn’t work on him at all! He stared off into space. He was wiggly. He was unengaged. He would fiddle with toys. He would drum on the table and the sides of the chair.
He could care less about anything I was trying to teach him. He hated reading – and writing – and math – and history. The only time of day I could eek a smile out of him was when science rolled around. When we got to do a hands-on science experiment, his eyes would light up! Hmmm…I wonder…
Meanwhile, I felt frustrated and increasingly angry because it seemed like he was rarely listening or paying attention. I spent more time telling him, “no!” than teaching academics. He also felt frustrated, poor boy, and increasingly decided that learning was not for him. School was super tough for both of us every day. I knew something had to change.
I couldn’t figure out what was “wrong” with my son and why he didn’t learn in the traditional way.
Nailing Your Kids Learning Style
First, I had to do a bit of sleuthing and determine his learning style. Well, it turns out, that he is a highly kinesthetic learner with a bit of auditory learning thrown it. Completely opposite of me in every way! Of course he loved science! This was when school became hands-on and physical – which was exactly how he learned.
The thing is, kinesthetic learners are often the kids who struggle the most in traditional class formats because they have trouble learning in the conventional ways of look, listen, read, and write. He was just as smart as any other kid, but he needed to touch and interact with materials for learning to occur. Nothing was “wrong” with him at all.
So, as his teacher, I had to make some major adjustments. I needed to match my teaching style to his learning style.
How To Match Your Teaching Style to Your Kid’s Learning Style
I already knew my own learning style, but I wasn’t exactly sure what my homeschool teaching style was. More sleuthing. Find out yours here!
Finally, once I understood his learning style, I ended up buying completely different curriculum for him than for his big sister.
He did better with audio books where he could just listen while fiddling with something. So, I downloaded the audio companion to our history and science lessons. We used a lot of YouTube as well. I also changed to a language arts curriculum, The Good and the Beautiful, where we could read aloud together more , while still getting a rigorous language arts foundation. This curriculum also integrated art naturally into the language lessons, allowing him a chance to use his hands.
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He struggled in reading and spelling, so I hunted for hands-on materials until I finally stumbled across an interactive spelling system, All About Spelling, that he could manipulate with his hands. Voila! His spelling immediately improved!
We made a big number line across the floor and my kinesthetic learner skip counted by jumping on the numbers. We jumped to 100 and later sang the multiplication tables. We changed to a math program that was highly interactive and physical, Teaching Textbooks. An added bonus? The computer reads aloud the math problems and provides immediate feedback. We’ve got a winner!
Blessings of Matching Your Teaching Style to Your Child’s Learning Style
I wish now that I had explored and understood learning styles earlier. It would have saved my son and me both a lot of struggle and tears! Each child is unique, and each learns in different ways. All children must learn to read, write, listen, and do math facts, but how we get them there can follow more than one path.
Don’t make the mistake of assuming all children learn the same way you do or the same way their brother or friend does. Take the time to carefully consider your child and what you can do to set him up for success! Especially if your child is struggling, refusing to do work, or becoming defiant. Stop and ask yourself if it could be a case of mismatched teaching style and learning styles. I had to match my teaching style to my child’s learning style in order to help him succeed.
It may be that YOU are the one who will need to make the change. Just remember – all kids can learn (and so can parents!)
In This Series:
- Do You Know Your Child’s Learning Style?
- What’s Your Homeschool Teaching Style? The 7 Homeschooling Methods