The teen years are special. They’re full of growth, change, and the daily shaping of character that will carry into adulthood. They’re also challenging years, as teenagers learn to navigate friendships, culture, independence, and their own developing faith.
As Christian parents, we want more than academic success or athletic achievements for our children. We want to raise teenagers who love Jesus, think biblically, and have the wisdom to make good choices. We hope they grow into faithful men and women who serve God well and live with integrity.
How to Be Good at Being a Teen: Practical Wisdom for Following Jesus and Living Well
Being a new teen is uncertain territory – and some of them struggle with figuring it out. There’s so much happening in a teen’s mind and heart. They’re often busy juggling school, activities, friendships, and the ordinary chaos of daily life that they may not stop to think about the kind of person they’re becoming—or, more importantly, the person God is shaping them to be.
Being a teenager is a beautiful season. It’s fun and exciting, a little crazy, incredibly formative, and full of opportunities to grow in faith and character.
There’s a lot I want my own teenagers to know before they leave our home and step out into the world. These are the Proverbs and James years—when we move beyond childhood Bible stories and cute songs with hand motions into deeper conversations about wisdom, Christian character, and developing a biblical worldview.
Christian Life Lessons for Teens
Years ago, I jotted down a list of life lessons I hoped my children would embrace during these years. Some are wonderfully practical. Others are deeply spiritual. Recently, I rediscovered the list and updated it, adding a few things now that I’m actually the mom of teenagers.
I doubt I’ll hand them all twenty lessons at once. After all, they’re teens, and modern attention spans are what they are. Instead, I hope to share these ideas in small, everyday moments as life unfolds. Perhaps I’ll share them in our lunchtime family devotionals or maybe even via text – so they can soak it in on their own time.
Feel free to borrow these ideas for family devotions, Bible class discussions, homeschool conversations, or those everyday moments in the car when teenagers suddenly decide to talk!
Raising Godly Teenagers
As I worked through the list, I realized something I probably should have expected. These aren’t simply my opinions about raising teenagers. They’re deeply rooted in Scripture and the biblical worldview our family strives to live by. God’s Word shapes every part of life, from the ordinary to the extraordinary, so I went back and added Bible verses that reinforce each principle.
As our children grow closer to adulthood, my prayer is that these lessons have not only been taught but modeled in our home. My hope is that they will see these practical habits as everyday ways to follow Jesus faithfully and live wisely.
>>> See also: Raising Fearless Kids in a Scary World
How to Be Good at Being a Teen
20 pieces of practical wisdom for following Jesus and living well
Practical Habits for Healthy Living
1. Take a shower every day
You need one even if you don’t think so. Wash and fix your hair. Be clean, fresh, and presentable.
God’s Word says:
- 1 Cor. 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? … So glorify God in your body.
2. Sleep
Prioritize a good night’s rest. Yep, this may seem like a no-brainer but it’s right up there with drinking water. Good sleep matters. Keep it consistent throughout your life and don’t sacrifice it for the trivial. Sleep impacts both your mental and physical health.
God’s Word says:
- Psalm 127:2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
- Eccl. 5:12 Sweet is the sleep of a laborer
- Psalm 3:5 I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.
3. Move
Get up and get moving every day. Take a walk, ride your bike, exercise. Go outside and breathe in the beautiful, fresh air. Lift your eyes to God’s marvelous creation. It will ground you and steady your mind and body.
God’s Word says:
- 1 Tim. 4:8 While bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way.
- Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
- Psalm 121:1-2 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
Character Traits That Build a Strong Life
4. Be humble
You’re just at the starting line of the race called Life and you don’t know everything yet. Don’t argue. Shut up, listen, and learn from others. Don’t get offended when you are corrected. Seize it as a learning opportunity.
God’s Word says:
- Phil 2:3-5 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.
- Prov. 15:31-33 The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.
32 Whoever ignores instruction despises himself,
but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.
33 The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom,
and humility comes before honor. - James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
5. Be curious
Life is interesting – explore! Dive into things that interest you. Wonder, imagine, and investigate. Think for yourself. When you disagree with someone, approach the conversation with curiosity to explore their perspective.
God’s Word says:
- Prov 25:2 The glory of kings is to search things out.
- Prov. 18:15 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge,
and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. - 1 Thess 5:21 Test everything; hold fast what is good.
6. Ask for directions
When you’re not sure about something, reach out for help. Ask. Pray often. Read your Bible. Talk to your parents and other faithful adults in your life. Seek wisdom. Grow from using the insight of wise people.
God’s Word says:
- Prov. 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. - James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
- Prov. 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls,
but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. - Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7. Work hard
Throw your heart into everything you do. Do your best and give it your all even if it’s not your favorite thing to do. If you want great things like good grades, a car, and money, you have to work for them.
God’s Word says:
- Col. 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.
- Eccl 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might.
- Prov. 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,
while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
8. Try new things
Be brave and adventurous. There are more foods out there to try. There’s often more than one way to do something, so try new things and you might be surprised at what you discover.
God’s Word says:
- Eccl. 11:6 In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.
- 2 Tim 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
- Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.
9. Try again
You’re going to make mistakes. Sometimes you’ll be hurt by other people’s mistakes. Forgive them and yourself. Start over. Mistakes are proof you’re trying. See failure as an opportunity to grow. Add the word “yet” to the end of any sentence beginning. “I can’t…”
God’s Word says:
- Prov 24:16 For the righteous falls seven times and rises again,
but the wicked stumble in times of calamity. - Phil. 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
- Col. 3:13 Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
10. Be responsible
Be dependable & trustworthy. Take ownership of your choices. Be accountable for your things, your decisions, and your time. Others want to know they can count on you. Keep your word. Be on time. Do what you say you’re going to do. Handle your business like getting your schoolwork done and your laundry washed.
God’s Word says:
- Luke 16:10 One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.
- Luke 12:48 Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required.
- Lam. 3:27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.
How to Treat Other People
11. Be polite
Use good manners like please and thank you. Look people in the eye when you speak to them and stand up straight. Speak clearly and directly – don’t mumble. Call adults sir and ma’am. Develop a confident handshake. Be nice. Smile.
God’s Word says:
- Titus 3:2 Remind them…to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
- Col. 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
- Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
12. Be friendly
Include everyone. When someone reaches out, reach back. Look out for anyone on the fringes and invite them to join the group. Don’t exclude. Smile and be kind to everyone no matter who they are. They are made in the image of God and worthy of respect. Love.
God’s Word says:
- Matt. 7:12 So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
- Rom 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
- Eph. 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
13. Be observant
Notice what’s going on around you. Interact with the people around you. Don’t keep your head stuck in your phone. Pay attention to see if someone is hurting, feels lonely, or needs assistance. Look up!
God’s Word says:
- Psalm 82:4 Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
- Prov. 31:9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
- Luke 10:33-34 But a Samaritan… had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds…and took care of him.
14. Be helpful
Your energy is a gift. Use your strength and talents to lend a helping hand. Open doors. Carry packages. Unload the groceries. Do chores. Look around for ways to help others. Think beyond your own wants and notice what other people need. Life isn’t all about you. Be a blessing to those around you. Serve.
God’s Word says:
- Gal. 5:13 Through love serve one another.
- Acts 20:35 We must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
- Prov. 11:25 Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,
and one who waters will himself be watered.
15. Respect boundaries
Boundaries are there for a reason. Respect the law, the rules, and the limits set for you from society, parents, teachers – and especially God. When someone says no or stop – stop!
God’s Word says:
- Rom 13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.
- Eph. 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
- Lev. 11:44 For I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy.
Following Jesus with Your Whole Life
16. Save sex for marriage
Make a firm commitment to keep your mind and body pure. Draw your line according to God’s word and stick to it.
God’s Word says:
- 1 Thess 4:3-4 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.
- Heb. 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
- 1 Cor. 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality.
17. Get involved
Be part of a local church. Be accountable to your elders and church family. They’ll look out for you. Serve. Get busy in the kingdom using the talents God has given you. Don’t be a pew warmer or a Sunday-morning only Christian.
God’s Word says:
- Heb. 10:24-25 Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
- Rom. 12:5-6 We, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.
- 1 Pet 4:10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.
18. Remember the plumb line – and your sword
God’s word is your plumb line. Hold every idea up against it. If the idea is crooked, you’ll know it doesn’t come from the Lord. His word is the perfect, unchanging standard of truth – and it’s your sword. Use it to stand against evil.
God’s Word says:
- Amos 7:7-8 This is what he showed me: behold, the Lord was standing beside a wall built with a plumb line, with a plumb line in his hand. 8 And the Lord said to me, “Amos, what do you see?” And I said, “A plumb line.”
- 2 Tim 3:16-17 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.
- Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword.
- Eph. 6:17 Take…the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
19. Be thankful
Count your blessings every day. When life is tough (and when it’s great), list the things for which you’re grateful. Write thank you notes for gifts. Say thanks to teachers and parents. Tell God thanks in daily prayer. Don’t take life for granted. It can change in the blink of an eye.
God’s Word says:
- 1 Thess 5:17-18 Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
- Col. 3:15, 17 Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
- James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.
20. Keep the faith
Life is tough – and full of unexpected challenges you can’t yet imagine. Stay strong. Be courageous. Pray continually. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Be faithful until death.
God’s Word says:
- Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
- 1 Cor. 16:13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
- Heb. 12:1-2 Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.
- Rev. 2:10 Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.
Biblical advice & practical wisdom for teenagers
Raising teenagers can feel overwhelming. The days are busy, the conversations are sometimes awkward, and it can be hard to know whether the lessons we’re trying to teach are actually sinking in.
The good news is that God never asked us to raise perfect kids. In fact, he gave them their own free will. He asked us to faithfully teach His ways (Deut. 6 style), model His character, and point our children to Him day after day.
These twenty lessons aren’t a checklist for becoming the perfect teenager – but they’re a great beginning! They’re practical habits and biblical principles that help young people grow into faithful adults who love God and love others well. Some lessons they’ll learn quickly. Others may take years—and a few may not fully take root until they’ve left home and experienced life for themselves. Have a reader? Another effective way to pass on important values to teens is through thoughtful books like The Tuttle Twin’s Guide to the World’s Worst Ideas. Check out my review and why your teen should read it.
Keep planting the seeds anyway.
Have the conversations. Model humility. Pray for your children. Laugh with them, correct them, encourage them, and trust that God is working in their hearts in ways you cannot always see.
The teenage years don’t last forever, but the character and faith built during them can shape an entire lifetime.