Social Emotional Learning Through Literature
Parents and teachers alike want their children to be kind, resilient, and empathetic, right? Reading books that teach social emotional skills is a great way to start the dialogue and get kids thinking about how they relate to others in their world.
Raising kids is hard. Being a teacher is hard. Being a kid is hard, too. There are so many skills we are trying to impart to our children beyond just the ABCs and 123s.
When your preschooler bites another child, you are mortified! When your 3rd grader screams at her best friend and marches off in tears, you are mystified. So often as a mom and teacher, I have felt helpless to know how to help children navigate their big emotions in the moment.
Honestly, sometimes, I can barely constrain my own big emotions, much less guide the kids to handle theirs!
Read a Good Social Emotional Book
Knowing, however, that getting along with others is essential, one of my favorite tactics has been to read a good book when we are all NOT “in the moment”. When we all feel calm and rational, a great book can be a wonderful conversation starter.
Kids are smart. They learn from the characters and can imagine themselves in the stories. Then the next time something similar comes up, they may just know how to handle it better.
There are so many great books that teach social emotional intelligence to children, but here are my Top 10:
1. Hands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi, Ph.D
This colorful, simple book for little ones 4-7 has a strong message that violence is never OK and that we each get to choose how we want to use our hands to help and to show love. One of my favorite things about this book is that it doesn’t just tell us what not to do, “Don’t hit!” but gives positive options for what we can do. Hands are for helping, caring, playing, and sharing.
2. Feelings by Aliki
Wow! I just love the tiny, detailed illustrations in this social emotional classic! Aliki covers everything from angry outbursts, jealousy, frustration, loneliness, and fear to peacefulness and love. Since the pics are tiny (but mighty!), this might not be the best choice for classroom instruction but is an absolute must for home one-on-one time!
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3. Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
What can a girl with a name like Chrysanthemum do? She adores her name until all the kids at school begin to make fun of her and then her world comes crashing down. A fabulous social emotional book about being teased, being resilient, and finding confidence in who you really are.
4. The Hating Book by Charlotte Zolotow
A delightful tale about a little girl who “hates” her friend as a mask for her own hurt and rejected feelings. Her sweet mother gently prods, “ask her” and keeps encouraging her to talk it out. When she finally accepts the challenge, there is a simple ad profound kid-style reconciliation that will foster all sorts of happy peacefulness in both you and your children.
5. How to Behave and Why by Munro Leaf
This has to be my all time favorite! Seriously, this book should be required reading for all elementary age children! The author zooms in on how to be honest, fair, strong, and wise and breaks each of those qualities down with delightful bluntness and adorable kid-friendly cartoon scrawls. He says things in this book that every kid absolutely needs to know! There is quite a bit of text verses pictures, so save this one for your school kids aged 6-10, but if you only buy one kids book this year, buy this one.
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6. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
What can I say? This one is another fabulous classic. Every kid needs to learn that some days are just terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. This is a wonderful story to teach abut the ups and downs of life, that we don’t always get what we want and that some things remain out of our control. Everyone has a bad day sometimes: “some days are like that.”
7. Pumpkin Soup by Helen Cooper
What happens when one friend decides to take over another friend’s jobs? A big squabble! In this delightful tale, three little friends learn about boundaries, bickering, resolving conflict, sharing, selfishness, love, and empathy. A must-read! Especially delightful in the fall!
8. Sorry! By Norbert Landa & Tim Warnes
A beautifully illustrated social emotional story about a fight between best friends. Neither can sleep until they seek each other out to resolve their conflict. A sweet book about coming together and pursuing friendship. This simple story is sure to delight children while teaching that friends are worth fighting for.
9. When I Care About Others by Cornelia Maude Spelman
I love this book for little learners, ages 3-5. Soft, sweet illustrations enhance the narrative of a little bear who learns that his actions impact others around him and he is affected by others who care for him. Simple text, but strong ideas to promote empathy and caring at a young age.
10. The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin by Beatrix Potter
This is an old, old story that is dearly needed in today’s society! It tells the story of an impertinent, disrespectful little squirrel who is rude, obnoxious, and lazy. He sings loudly, plays while others work, provokes others, and has no nice manners. In a similar style to the beloved Peter Rabbit by the same author, little Squirrel Nutkin learns a powerful but painful lesson about respect.
There are so many fabulous children’s books that teach social emotional awareness and skills! Leave a comment below and tell me some of your favorites!
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