Mom Guilt? 4 Simple Steps to Get Back on Track

Feeling overwhelmed by mom guilt? Learn how to let go of guilt and get back in step with the Spirit using these simple, biblical steps for Christian moms.

Keep in Step with the Spirit

Feeling any mom-guilt today?

Have you ever read Galatians 5 and really stopped to think about what it means to keep in step with the Spirit? This one’s for you…

A Simple Lesson from Clogging

Two of my daughters are really big into clogging. No, no, not little wooden shoes clogging, but similar to tap-dance clogging. (Go ahead and google it, I’ll wait.)

All done? 😊

Okay, so my girls love to clog. They take weekly lessons where they learn complicated routines with their troupe. And occasionally…(gasp!) they mess up. They get out of step with the music or the other girls.

So recently, I asked my oldest, “what do you do when you get out of step?”

She shrugged and said, “I just stop, look around at the others, listen to the beat, and jump back in.”

Keep in Step

Well, it just so happened by God’s good providence that I’ve been reading Galatians 5 where we are reminded, “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.”

My daughter’s words came slamming home to me. Keeping in step with the Spirit is a lot like keeping in step with a clogging dance routine.

And if I’m honest? I get out of step, too…a lot.

Some days I’m not the most patient mom. Not the most loving wife. Not the most thoughtful friend.

Well, let’s be completely real: most days I find myself out-of-step with the Spirit at some point. (Sigh).

The Weight of Mom Guilt

Here’s the problem:

Instead of doing what my daughters do so naturally, I tend to go straight into mom guilt.

I replay the moment.

I dwell on what I said.

I beat myself up.

And I know I’m not alone in this.

Moms everywhere carry this weight. We have high expectations for ourselves so when we fall short, we spiral into self-criticism. Sometimes we brood. Sometimes we shut down. Sometimes we even feel like giving up.

READ: 10 Steps to Be a Better Mom

But Here’s the Truth…

The truth is that we’re going to mess up. It’s part of being human.

I have to remind myself – often – that messing up is a very natural part of living and learning.

Scripture reminds us that:

We all sin (Rom. 3:23)
Our sin doesn’t have to define us or even derail us (Rom. 6:14).

So instead of staying stuck in mom guilt, we can follow a better pattern – the same one my daughters use when they get off beat.

Remember my daughter’s advice? Just stop, look around, listen, and jump back in.

4 Simple Steps to Overcome Mom Guilt

1. STOP

The first thing to do, of course, is to notice that you’ve messed up.

That’s it.

No drama. No self-berating.

Mistakes mean that you’re genuinely trying to do your best. In fact, we used to have a sign hanging in our school room that read, “Mistakes are proof you are trying!”

Failing is an essential part of thriving. It shows that you’re alive and that you care – deeply. Way to go!

So, first, just admit you messed up and stop.

There’s no such thing as a perfect mom.

A friend of mind likes to say, “when you know better, you’ll do better.”

So stop. Acknowledge it. Learn from it.

This is how we grow and learn. Stopping to notice is step one.

2. LOOK AROUND

The second step is to look around you and take a moment to evaluate.

Open your Bible and look at Galatians 5 and other scriptures. Compare your actions with the fruit of the Spirit. Where were you out of step? How can you do better next time?

Also, look at the people around you.

Godly friends can gently help you see where you’ve gone off track – and encourage you as you get back on track (Proverbs 27:17).

Just like dancers watch each other to stay in rhythm, we need that kind of community, too.

3. LISTEN

This step is so important.

Are you listening to God’s voice – or to the noise of the world? God is our Rock and our Redeemer.

God’s word guides us just like the music guides a dance. But we have to be familiar with the word. We have to be listening.

Is God’s word guiding your steps through the day – or are you marching to the beat of a different drum?

Are you listening to his words of love, strength, and forgiveness?

Or are you allowing yourself to hear the voice of the world who says you’ll never be good enough?

“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the Lord: look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the quarry from which you were dug.” – Isaiah 51:1

4. JUMP BACK IN

This is where mom guilt loses its power.

No pity party. No dragging it out.

Just jump back in.

When you fall down– as we all will – hop back up. When you get out of step, jump back in, and finish the routine.

Romans 8:1 reminds us there is no condemnation for those in Christ. God isn’t standing over you in frustration, hollering at us for failing – and we shouldn’t be hollering at ourselves, either.

Self-evaluate? Yes – see step 1.

Self-berate? No, that’s Satan’s way, not God’s.

Jumping back in takes grit.

Pure determination.

Motherhood requires endurance!

No wonder God uses that word over and over in the Bible! It’s not always easy, but we are called to keep going.

READ: Grumpy Mom Wants a Clean House