Keep in Step with the Spirit
Feeling any mom-guilt today? Have you ever read Galatians 5 and contemplated what it means to keep in step with the Spirit? This ones for you…
Two of my daughters are really big into clogging. No, no, not little Dutch wooden shoes clogging, but similar to tap-dance clogging. (Go ahead and google it, I’ll wait.) All done? Okay, so my girls love to clog. They take weekly lessons where they learn complicated dance routines with their troupe. Occasionally, (gasp!) they mess up. I know it is shocking, but all too true that sometimes they get out of step with the music or the other girls.
So recently, I asked my oldest, “what do you do when you get out of step?”
She shrugged and said something like, “I just stop, look around at the others, listen to the beat, and jump back in.”
Keep in Step
Well, it just so happened by God’s good providence that I’ve been reading Galatians 5 where we are reminded, “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” My daughter’s words came slamming home to me. Keeping in step with the Spirit is an awful lot like keeping in step with a clogging dance routine, right?
I don’t know about you, but I get out-of-step frequently with the Spirit. I mess up. Some days I’m not the best mom or the most loving wife or the greatest friend. Well, let’s be completely transparent: most days I seem to get out-of-step with the Spirit. (Sigh).
Mom Guilt
The problem is that on a spiritual and emotional level, sometimes I struggle to do what my girls have already learned on a physical level. Remember my daughter’s advice? Just stop, look around, listen, and jump back in.
But not me, nope. I head straight into mom guilt. I pity-party, wallow, sometimes I beat myself up about my failures. Truly, I know I’m not alone in this – I think Moms all over are pretty famous for it. We have high expectations for ourselves so when we mess up, we agonize and quickly fall into self-berating. Sometimes we brood and sadly, sometimes, we even give up.
READ: 10 Steps to Be a Better Mom
But the Truth…
You know what? The truth is that we’re going to mess up. Often, I have to remind myself that messing up is a very natural part of living and learning. We all sin (Rom. 3:23) but our sin doesn’t have to define us or even derail us (Rom. 6:14).
Instead, we have to change our self-talk into the same steps that my daughters have already learned:
1. STOP
The first thing to do, of course, is to notice that you’ve messed up. Mistakes mean that you’re genuinely trying to do your best. In fact, we used to have a sign hanging in our school room that read, “Mistakes are proof you are trying!” Failing is an essential part of thriving. It shows that you’re alive and that you care – deeply. Way to go! So, first, just admit you messed up and stop.
You’re never going to be a perfect mom – there is no such thing. A friend of mind likes to say, “when you know better, you’ll do better,” meaning don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t know how to do it any differently.
Just accept your failures and admit your mistakes. No shame! This is how we grow and learn. Stopping to notice is step one.
2. LOOK AROUND
The second step is to look around you. How are your steps out of sync with the Spirit? Go back to scripture like the Fruit of the Spirit or the deeds of the flesh in Galatians 5. How are you measuring up? Where does the plumb line show crookedness? Spend time in the word and study how God wants us to live.
Think about how your steps may be out-of-sync with other Christians. If you surround yourself with other godly people, they will help you to know when you’ve messed up – and they’ll also help you get back in step quickly and often with a laugh (Prov. 27:17). Just like a dancer watches the other girls in her troupe to stay on-beat, we can look to other Christians, too, if they’re living godly lives.
3. LISTEN
Step three is vital. As moms, we have to listen carefully to the voice of God. God is our rock and our Redeemer. Just like the music in a song prompts the girls to do the right steps, so, too does God’s word prompt us and guide us. But that means you need to already know God’s voice and be listening to it. Is his word what is guiding your steps through the day – or are you marching to the beat of a different drum? Are you listening to his words of love, strength, and forgiveness? Or are you allowing yourself to hear the voice of the world who says you’ll never be good enough?
“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the Lord: look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the quarry from which you were dug.” – Isaiah 51:1
4. JUMP BACK IN
There’s no time here for pity-parties or self-abasement! No mom guilt! When you fall over – as we all will – hop back up. When you get out of step, jump back in, and finish the routine.
You see, as a Christian there is no condemnation when we sin (Rom. 8:1). God isn’t sitting there hollering at us for failing – and we shouldn’t be hollering at ourselves, either. Self-evaluate? Yes – see step 1. Self-berate? No, that’s Satan’s way, not God’s.
But don’t take that to mean that jumping back in is always easy. One of the necessary ingredients in motherhood is grit. Pure determination. It takes grit and endurance. No wonder God uses that word over and over in the Bible! Jumping back in may be quite challenging. God never promises it will be easy, he just asks us to never give up.
READ: Grumpy Mom Wants a Clean House
True Grit
The last time the girls had a dance recital something truly spectacular happened. One poor young dancer endured trial after trial – but never gave up.
See, right off the bat at the beginning of the song, this girl’s clogging shoe came untied. Not surprisingly, then, she tripped and got out-of-step. Completely undaunted, she jumped right back in but momentarily was awarded with the entire sole of her shoe flying right off! Nothing to it, she just kept right on clogging with only one working shoe! Never mind that the missing sole made her shoes different heights, and she was completely off-balance.
The next number called for hats, but her big heavy one kept falling down over her eyes! Without missing a beat, this one-shoed, off-balance, blinded little girl kept right on dancing her heart out until the music stopped! How did she do it?
She listened to the music and kept on keeping-on! What a remarkable, determined spirit!
READ: A Mom’s Cry to God, “Oh, Fill My Cup, Let it Overflow”
No More Mom Guilt
So don’t worry! If today your life routine didn’t go as expected and you got out of step, you get another rehearsal tomorrow. And the next day and the next…until eternity. No mom guilt. Just stop and evaluate how you’re keeping in step with the Spirit, look around, listen, and jump back in. There is no condemnation!
Most days as a mom, you’ll probably mess up – but some days you might just nail it!